Just had to come and journal some quick thoughts I had this morning during my horse chores.
Hoof is really quite sweet. He's kind of like that charming guy that your drawn to, and he makes you laugh and has kind of an impish innocence but you can NEVER trust him.
Not because he doesn't mean well, but because he is irresponsible and doesnt understand the consequences of his actions. Kind of emotionally immature. Hoof does not know how big he is. He may run me down because i'm in his way or because he is running to me for protection. He doesnt know the difference. I remember once when the neighbor was setting off fireworks. It scared him and I was out in the field keeping an eye on the horses just in case they ran the fence or something. Well, he hears a firework and runs straight at me. Luckily I had the carrot stick(parelli folks know what I mean ) it's a directional tool. Anyway, I shooed him away with it. I am convinced he was running to me to hide behind me. Like I said he doesn't know how big he is.
This morning after I fed , I realized the fans were not pointed downward as much as they could be. It would be a help to the horses to keep the flies off their legs while eating their hay.
I decided to adjust them. I went to the shed to get the step ladder. Hoof saw that and got so scared. He ran out of the barn. My other horse Hershey just went right on eating his hay barely noticing me. Hoof stayed out of the barn till I was done.
I think Hoof is a very scared horse. Scared of everything but what fools you is that he's also very cocky and seems like he's such a cool dude. He has a sunken eye on one side of his face and it might make his eyesight not quite right which probably contributes to his fears.
I understand fears. I am afraid of life in general. Maybe Hoof is too. But I understand the feeling of being a prey animal. Always looking over your shoulder for the next threat. It's not a fun place to be. That does make it hard for me to keep him out of my space because I feel sorry for him or want to mother him and nurture him , even though I know that if I show him real leadership he will feel safer being with me. I guess this is a block i have to overcome, but part of me doesn't want to. I still want to baby him. But thats not fair to him is it? He loves to have his ears scratched and his chin scratched, and sometimes he just kind of leans against me like AWE mama. I love you. Maybe i'm afraid he wont love me anymore if I am firm with him. Also I dont seem to have enough self confidence to be sure that i'm being a fair in my judgements. For instance if i'm firm with him, I will always , a few minutes later second guess myself and say, oh what if i was too quick or too firm . I did the same thing with my poor daughter. I would try to discipline and then I would second guess the discipline and undo the punishment. OOO KKKK. I'll put the phone back in your room Tash, but DONT be on it after 10 pm! Then of course it would happen again because , well she was a teenager.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
why am i doing this
I am trying hard to train my little horsie Hoof. He's a brat. Thats him in the picture. Spoiled ROTTEN.
But it's my fault. I cant help it. He's so cute and I cant push him out of my space for crowding and trying to be in my pocket.
So i've got a brat. Last week , I had just finished feeding him and I felt him walking up behind me. He took his head and headbutted me in the butt. Well that did it i turned around , fly mask in hand and SHOOED him with it. He looked at me like WHAT????? But he backed up. I guess my energy was sufficient this time to warrant a slight show of respect.
Here's the reason I'm starting this blog. First of all. I live alone, so i have tons of thoughts and feelings and noone to express them to but my animals and my poor dear assistant at my pet grooming shop. Her name is Jess, and you'll hear alot about her on this blog, because she is the poor unfortunate who i spend most of my time with. I do have some very dear friends and a full grown daughter too , but I am trying to not monopolize conversations with my own selfish interests so that leaves ALOT of stuff to write.
She suggested I do this blog and said she thought my stories were interesting enough that others might want to hear them. Be warned though, my facebook friends kinda ignore me I think. Does anyone else ever feel like that? I can put up the best animal videos on the web, and get maybe 2 likes or comments. Other people have tons of responses. I wonder if people have me blocked. OF COURSE NOT. Thats just stinkin thinkin right?
So anyway, my new trainer Carrie, wants me to try EFT. Thats emotional freedom technique to help me to get through some of my training blocks with Hoof. For instance , I am afraid he will run over me. When he was younger , i would be leading him around the field and suddenly for NO reason he would stand up on two legs, come down to earth and BOLT. AHHH scary. Off he would go like Secretariat at the belmont , me standing there with my heart in my throat, thinking what did I do???
If you've ever had a horse with no respect standing above you on two legs with you at the other end of the lead line, let me tell you it's scary. I guess if i had alot of experience with a green horse I would not be scared, but I dont.
Some of you may ask , why do you keep a horse like that. Well it's because I love him. Maybe it's a codependant addiction. Not sure , but i love him regardless. I've had him since he was 3 and he's now 10 years old . I can count the times i've been on his back on two hands.
Most times. he lays his ears back and lifts his butt. I then proceed to get off of him quick. I"m not afraid to get hurt necessarily, I'm afraid NOT to work!!. I"m the only one we've got to pay the bills and buy the hay and 50 million nutritional supplements it apparently takes to keep this farmette functioning.
So back to Carrie (the trainer). She wants me to tap away my fears and blocks. This is interesting stuff this EFT. I've tried it before for various other fears I have, like getting my mail, hearing the phone ring, people knocking on my door. YESSS. I'm a nut, and a hermit but i'm functional and quite harmless.
Anyway, I've tried it before and it did'nt really work, well Carrie tells me it's because you need to bring up the fear when you do it. In other words imagine the worst happening and then tap tap tap it away. Well I'm very very good at imagining the worst to happen, so this should be a breeze. Carrie wants me to journal about Hoof. I am not good at even keeping track of a notebook or a piece of paper. I"m one of those people who writes everything on the back of envelopes and then loses them in the pile of mail.
So I figured , with Jess's help I would put everything on this here blog. And while i'm at it. I will express myself. That way you can choose to read it or ignore me like the people do on facebook, but either way I will be progressing with Hoofs new training regimine and maybe taking the load off of Jess. Lonely women make good bloggers..........I hope!
One more thing, I will not be too worried about spelling and punctuation. You get what i'm saying and life is too short for that. LAAAAZZZZYYY I know.
But it's my fault. I cant help it. He's so cute and I cant push him out of my space for crowding and trying to be in my pocket.
So i've got a brat. Last week , I had just finished feeding him and I felt him walking up behind me. He took his head and headbutted me in the butt. Well that did it i turned around , fly mask in hand and SHOOED him with it. He looked at me like WHAT????? But he backed up. I guess my energy was sufficient this time to warrant a slight show of respect.
Here's the reason I'm starting this blog. First of all. I live alone, so i have tons of thoughts and feelings and noone to express them to but my animals and my poor dear assistant at my pet grooming shop. Her name is Jess, and you'll hear alot about her on this blog, because she is the poor unfortunate who i spend most of my time with. I do have some very dear friends and a full grown daughter too , but I am trying to not monopolize conversations with my own selfish interests so that leaves ALOT of stuff to write.
She suggested I do this blog and said she thought my stories were interesting enough that others might want to hear them. Be warned though, my facebook friends kinda ignore me I think. Does anyone else ever feel like that? I can put up the best animal videos on the web, and get maybe 2 likes or comments. Other people have tons of responses. I wonder if people have me blocked. OF COURSE NOT. Thats just stinkin thinkin right?
So anyway, my new trainer Carrie, wants me to try EFT. Thats emotional freedom technique to help me to get through some of my training blocks with Hoof. For instance , I am afraid he will run over me. When he was younger , i would be leading him around the field and suddenly for NO reason he would stand up on two legs, come down to earth and BOLT. AHHH scary. Off he would go like Secretariat at the belmont , me standing there with my heart in my throat, thinking what did I do???
If you've ever had a horse with no respect standing above you on two legs with you at the other end of the lead line, let me tell you it's scary. I guess if i had alot of experience with a green horse I would not be scared, but I dont.
Some of you may ask , why do you keep a horse like that. Well it's because I love him. Maybe it's a codependant addiction. Not sure , but i love him regardless. I've had him since he was 3 and he's now 10 years old . I can count the times i've been on his back on two hands.
Most times. he lays his ears back and lifts his butt. I then proceed to get off of him quick. I"m not afraid to get hurt necessarily, I'm afraid NOT to work!!. I"m the only one we've got to pay the bills and buy the hay and 50 million nutritional supplements it apparently takes to keep this farmette functioning.
So back to Carrie (the trainer). She wants me to tap away my fears and blocks. This is interesting stuff this EFT. I've tried it before for various other fears I have, like getting my mail, hearing the phone ring, people knocking on my door. YESSS. I'm a nut, and a hermit but i'm functional and quite harmless.
Anyway, I've tried it before and it did'nt really work, well Carrie tells me it's because you need to bring up the fear when you do it. In other words imagine the worst happening and then tap tap tap it away. Well I'm very very good at imagining the worst to happen, so this should be a breeze. Carrie wants me to journal about Hoof. I am not good at even keeping track of a notebook or a piece of paper. I"m one of those people who writes everything on the back of envelopes and then loses them in the pile of mail.
So I figured , with Jess's help I would put everything on this here blog. And while i'm at it. I will express myself. That way you can choose to read it or ignore me like the people do on facebook, but either way I will be progressing with Hoofs new training regimine and maybe taking the load off of Jess. Lonely women make good bloggers..........I hope!
One more thing, I will not be too worried about spelling and punctuation. You get what i'm saying and life is too short for that. LAAAAZZZZYYY I know.
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